The struggle continues...

I would love to not be writing this post, and honestly it is very difficult for me to do so, but I believe that it will help me in the long run. It has been MONTHS since my last post, and I am back up to 200 lbs. :(

I am almost in tears writing this. I don't know how I let 5 lbs turn into 10 lbs, then 20, then 30... It really does show me that controlling my weight will be a lifetime battle for me. In the last 5-6 months, I have put on about 30 lbs. Somehow it doesn't even seem possible.

I could no longer afford the price of phase II and made the decision to manage my weight on my own...well, to put it bluntly, I haven't. All of the good habits that I learned in the weight management program I have not practiced consistently. I work out occasionally, I have been eating pretty much whatever I want, and I have been drinking probably every weekend.

Thanksgiving is now quickly approaching and I am feeling sick to my stomach because I promised myself I would never weight 200 lbs again. I am struggling for answers or ways to get myself out of this mess.

I have tried to go back to eating the HMR foods, but my determination isn't where it was when I was on the plan. I am attempting to try my own "phase one" by drinking store brand weight loss shakes (instead of HRM shakes,), eating Healthy Choice meals (instead of HMR meals), and filling up on fruits and veggies.

I may join a gym, but want to make sure that I will actually go before I make the commitment.

I know this will work if I stick with it....so that is what I need to do.

I hope to be writing again soon saying that I reached my new goal of 190 lbs.

Wish me luck!