Still Going Strong...

Well the past weeks have definitely been a challenge to say the least! I had a bridal shower, thrown my my mother-in-law back in Thief River, followed by a bachelorette party and shower thrown by my wonderful Maid of Honor Laurie. While these festivities were AMAZING and some of the most fun I have had in quite some time (see blog pic!), they did take a toll on the scale. BOO!

In the recent 3 weeks I have put on 3.2 lbs, which most people would agree isn't life or death...and I would tend to agree. However, I now am beginning to realize how slippery the slope of American eating can be!

While in phase one I never wavered...never cheated...never went "out of the box." Now in phase two, I am struggling with all of the temptations that surround us in the world of food. I feel like a shark that had it's first taste of blood....FEEDING FRENZY!!!! Seriously, this is much harder than I expected. I have tried to go back "in the box," meaning eating nothing but HMR approved entrees, shakes and fruits and vegetables, but now having been reintroduced to "real food" it seems impossible. So how am I coping? Well, to be honest...I'm not! haha! No, I am continuing to eat entrees and shakes and fruits and vegetables, hoping that the more of those that I eat, the less other food I will want. Some days it works....some days it doesn't. It's going to be a lifetime balance that I will just have to find along the way.

Alcohol...how I've missed you!!! This challenge has proven to be harder than I expected. I don't necessarily find the urge to get completely smashed every weekend with mass amounts of Bacardi Diets (former BFF!), but I now have the constant desire for a glass of wine. Like, seriously...EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! And many of you may say, "The American Heart Association says drinking one glass of red wine is actually good for your heart." To that I must say....DON'T TEMPT ME DEVIL WOMAN! I have absolutely no off-button when it comes to wine. I have tried....many.....many times, with no success. I consume wine in bottle increments instead of glasses, so if I am having wine, I better hope there is only one bottle in the house!

What I am taking away from this is that I am not immune to gaining every single pound I have lost back...and if I want to avoid that fate, I need to find some balance. Or I need to invest all of the time that I am not drinking and eating to running my fat ass off!

20 Worst Drinks in America 2010

Interesting Article if you have time to read. We discussed this last night in my phase two class. I was amazed to learn that over half of the calories that children in our country comsume come from BEVERAGES!!! Weight loss is hard enough when you are just talking about food...why put drinks into the mix?!? Well, unless it is the weekend of your bachelorette party.....2 WEEKS BABY!!!

http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slideshow/20-worst-drinks-america-2010

Traveling Woes

I realize that since I have begun phase two I haven't been posting as much as I used to. There is a reason for that...I just haven't figured it out yet! :) Honestly, I don't want to bore you with the foods that I am eating and perhaps I don't want to divulge the foods that I have been over-eating! The short version of the tale is that I have been trying new foods every day, and it is a constant challenge to not go back to my old eating habits. However, I am still losing weight so I am assuming that means that I am beginning to find that healthy lifestyle that all the skinny people talk about! THE PROMISE LAND!

This past week I spent a few days in California for work. The sunshine state always lives up to it's reputation, but I had forgotten how easy it is to over-indulge on the company's dime! lol! For some reason, when I travel for work it strangely feels like I am on vacation. And when you are on vacation you most definitely shouldn't be on a diet, right??? The Epply Airfield is the airport in Omaha, and I knew from past experience that they had plenty of fruit for purchase in the terminal. What I didn't realize was how hard it can be to find the same healthy snacks at other airports. Maybe I was blinded by all the candy, but I couldn't find fruit or veggies at either the Sky Harbor in Phoenix or the Ontario airport..............WTF? I did my best, and paid $15 for a salad at TGIF to Go, and removed half of the ingredients on my plate!

I do take partial blame, as I should have planned ahead and had some of my HMR bars on hand! That is one of the most important things I have learned in phase two; planning ahead is key!!!

On another note, I tried VERY hard to work out while on the road but to my disappointment I was asked to stop running by the manager of the hotel I was staying at. I WAS PISSED! Maybe it was because it was 4AM in California, or maybe it was because their "cardio center" was a small room on the third floor with 1 treadmill and a POS StairMaster, but I was still upset. I had asked about the hours that I would be able to use the cardio room, and was told that I could go in there whenever I wanted. Oh well. Life goes on. I also attempted to walk at the Ontario Mall, but found that the kiosk vendors were much more aggressive than their Midwest counterparts. I did one lap and found myself to be a proud owner of a wet to dry hair straightener that retailed for $300, but I picked up for under $150....with the vendor's "manager discount!" WOW! I decided to stop walking at that point and go into the Coach store where I worked out my wallet!!! :)

Freedom...not quite ready for it!

So...I have officially been let off the "HMR leash," and to be honest with you I didn't handle it as well as I would have hoped.

Last week I was told by my health educator, that I could incorporate other foods into my diet on an "experimental basis." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I don't think I did it quite right.

I began by having 1 cup of 2% milk with my fruit...not bad right? The next day we went to a salad bar, and the only non-veggie items that I incorporated were 1 hard boiled egg and probably less than 2 oz of blue cheese. I also substituted an entree for a cup of white chicken chili....still not too bad.

Well then Saturday came....and to be honest with you, I went into the day with a plan. I was going to have 6 oz of salmon for dinner. And I did, however as I was cleaning out Jay's snack cupboard, I made the mistake of trying one of his honey cinnamon almonds. I'm not lying when I say this, my mind went to a very scary place. All of a sudden I was popping almonds in my mouth one after another...I finally had to dump them in the garbage and pour my salmon juice on them to keep me from picking them out of the trash! HOW SAD IS THAT!!! I probably had about 2 oz of almonds, but that's not the point. I never thought I would go back to that place, and I totally did.

The next day's strategy included sampling some of the cravings I have been having, in small portions so that (hopefully) the craving would be fulfilled and I wouldn't want it anymore. So, I had a piece of bread with peanut butter on it, and felt pretty successful about the outcome...I wasn't crouched in a dark corner with the jar of peanut butter clutched in my hand, scraping the remains out with my finger or anything like that. Later that day, while having to watch Jay eat mass amounts of Reese's, Heath, and cookie dough ice cream, I felt as if my best strategy would be to eat some frozen fat free Cool Whip....WELL I ATE THE WHOLE CONTAINER!!! And the sad thing...I still wanted ice cream, so yesterday I allowed myself 1 cup of ice cream and I now feel as though that craving has past.

I know this hasn't been the most exciting post, and I am too embarrassed to post pictures of me stuffing food into my pie hole, but I believe it is necessary to share the good and the bad. This week has been an extremely challenging week, and I feel as though I have never had a closer bond with my treadmill, but I am learning from it, and hopefully will be stronger each day because of it! Wish me luck!

Oh, by the way, I was down 2.7 lbs last week.....putting me 3.8 lbs away from my wedding goal weight.

Crunch Time!

I have to first apologize for being lazy with my posts recently....it has been for lack of effort in the program, but rather for an increased level of anxiety around my quickly approaching wedding and all the things that go along with it!

I have been in phase two for 4 weeks now, and have been able to introduce lean protein (as posted previously), whole grains, and probably most importantly....FROZEN MEALS! What does this mean? I am now able to substitute the HRM shelf stable meals for branded frozen meals like Healthy Choice, Smart Ones and Lean Cuisine. This has been a double edged sword for me, as these meals taste much better, but I am now having to call on my willpower which has often failed me in the past....hence my fatty period (that is what I am naming the past 10 years of my life!).

So, beyond having to grapple with my less-than-stellar self-control, I am now in the thick of wedding planning, which I am absolutely sure is making my hair fall out! There are parties, and decorations, and dresses, and fittings, and shoes, and gifts, and tablecloths, and BUDGETING! I HATE BUDGETING!!! Not to mention that I recently went to a wedding (which is totally my jam!), with an open bar (oh yea!), and COULD NOT DRINK!!! I drove drunk people home until 2AM, and I don't want to do it again!

This was also the first 4th of July in many...MANY years that I have been sober. I guess it was kind of fun to be conscious for the fireworks, but I became fully aware of little things that I would have normally not given a second thought to. Example: mosquitos! Yes readers, I am complaining about mosquitos in Nebraska! Now I know how funny this is to anyone who is from Minnesota, but this just illustrates my point. Back when I was able to drink, I would have probably been so numb from my eyelids down that I wouldn't have even realized that there was a flock of bugs sucking my will to live. Being sober blows, and I doubt there is anyone who can convince me otherwise. I am anxiously awaiting the 14th of August as that will be my re-entry back into the world of alcohol. Ahhhh....bachelorette party.....I cannot WAIT!

Just an update...I am officially 6.5 lbs away from my wedding goal weight! Will I make it???

Weight Management Ambassador Program

I have recently volunteered to take part in the newly-formed Weight Management Ambassador Program at Alegent Health, and in true Teri-fashion, I am nervous to the point of uncontrollable vomiting!

The anxiety is coming from my deep-rooted insecurities that I am still working to improve. When I stand up in front of a group of people I still feel like they are staring at me for all the wrong reasons. Get over it, right! And that is exactly what I intend to do. I am no guru when it comes to public speaking, but if nothing else participating in this program will help. Grant, my health educator, made a good point when I expressed my anxiety. He said that the people I will be talking to won't be concerned about how well I am speaking, they will be concerned about finding out how I was successful in the program. I intend to do my best and hopefully my story can help someone who is struggling, or has questions, or is unsure about their ability to reach their weight loss goals.

Anyway, wish me luck!

PHASE two....oh chicken...how I've missed you!!!

Well my friends....the day has FINALLY come! I am officially in phase two of the HMR Weight Management Program!!! Last week I attended my last class in phase one, which was bitter sweet for me. I had a great weight loss, and surpassed my 80 lbs lossed goal, but it was hard to say goodbye to all the people who have been with me for the past 8 months.

With the entrance to phase two, comes the re-introduction of "real food." This week my assignment was to sample a measured portion of lean protein. I chose 6 oz of grilled chicken. I know this is super dorky, but I had to document my first bite!

My first phase two meal was a salad comprised of spinach leaves, cucumbers, avocados, GRILLED CAYENNE CHICKEN, with a little fat free ranch dressing and buffalo sauce. Approximately 550 calories, and yes, it was all I have been dreaming of and more! haha!